I have carried a worn clipping of your “Definition of Maturity” with me for many years because it has been inspirational to me. I even gave a copy of it to my younger brother.
Is it part of one of your publications? I feel it is relevant today because both the young and old could use a lesson in respect and self-respect.
Can you reprint it?
Dear Frances in Dallas,
Here it is:
Definition of Maturity
The ability to stick with a job until it’s finished.
The ability to do a job without being supervised.
The ability to carry money without spending it.
And the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
I’ve been friends with “Brenda” for nearly 40 years. We’ve had our share of tough times, but I’ve always been a good friend to her even though it felt one-sided.
The last straw for me was a few months ago, when I had major surgery.
I didn’t hear from her for 3 weeks, and when she did call, she talked about her life the whole time and showed no interest in how I was doing.
Brenda has now had major surgery; 2 weeks have gone by, and I haven’t called her.
I want her to have a taste of her own selfish medicine. I have been upfront with her in the past that she hasn’t always been there for me.
She apologizes but nothing changes. Am I being too sensitive about her lack of caring about anyone but herself?
Dear Over It,
I don’t think so. But if you step back and review your relationship with Brenda, you will realize that it has always been this way.
Perhaps it’s time to reevaluate whether maintaining the kind of relationship you have with her is worth the effort because, after 40 years, she isn’t going to change.
Either accept her as she is or move on.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.